Sad by choice, NOT consequence
One of the many things extensive self-loathing and self-pitying has taught me is that sadness is relative and that there is always going to be a situation more screwed up than the one you’re currently in, their’s inevitably always going to be a bleak night darker than the one you’re already trying to sleep through, their’s always going to be a worse memory to compare to your now not so bad memories(that once made you cry your eyes dry), your worst days may seem not your absolute worst one day.
Things get replaced, the same with memories, they fade, slowing etching away from one’s consciousness until they’re replaced by better ones( in this case, worse ones).
Life is nice like that sometimes, throwing you a curveball once in a while, reminding you of your place, how little you know about life, how much it knows about you.
I admit it’s pretty depressing to think of life as just a series of unfortunate events, getting periodically worse with each tick the clock makes, but know, this morbid veil you’re soon to don has a silver lining.
It gives you a metric to judge how much of your time you choose to spend self-loathing or self-victimizing because of this one inadequacy that happened.
Accepting the fact that this is not the biggest problem you’re potentially going to face is the first step towards the rude yet oh-so needed self-awaking you were running from.
What seemed like the end of the world, the potential saboteur of your future happiness is now a measly monotony you have to cope with, not implying that you skip the depression phase as a whole, that part remains the same( can’t help with the grieving bit, I’m sorry), but the idea you had about that depression is completely flipped on its head, instead of thinking you’re at your lowest low, you start thinking of it as just not at your highest high, because you don’t know what’s to come next.
That’s the comforting part, this way you’re sad, but you’re sad by choice not by consequence, you acknowledge the fact that life is mellow at times, it gets rough, but you’ll get through it, you CAN get through it.
